Recent conversations around Casa de Awesome

Dexter (apropos of nothing): “I LOVE shepherd’s pie!”

Me: “Okay! We can make some soon. Hey, what’s in shepherd’s pie?”

Dexter: “Shepherds!”

I gave Dex about four drops of coffee in a half cup of milk. He said, “I a grownup. I drink from this mug.”

***

I decide to teach Dex the chicken dance. We ask Alexa for the song, and she serves up a strange, clubby version by a children’s performer popular over here. We are like ???? and then I just start dancing.

Matt: “You know what else is weird?”

Me: “What?”

Matt: “That this version has no words!”

Me: “WHAT?! What do think the words to the chicken dance are? BEAKY BEAKY BEAKY BEAK / FLAPPY FLAPPY FLAPPY FLAP /  WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE BUM / CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!”

Matt: “You suck.”

***

This conversation was less funny, but sweet and cute. Dex is getting ready to leave with Matt for the childminder and says to himself, “We gonna be best friends forever.”

That sentence isn’t ringing any bells so I am instantly curious.

Me: “Who’s gonna be best friends forever, Dex?”

Dex, with adorable little smile: “Me and Bill.” (This is what he calls Belle, another little girl our childminder cares for.)

Me: “Who said that? Did Belle say that?”

Dex: “Yep.”

Me: “Does that make you happy?”

Dex, with adorable little smile again: “Yep.”

***

Dex is leaving our room, where he’d been hanging out while I got ready for work.

Dex: “Daddy! Mommy said, ‘Excuse me.'”

Matt (because apparently I get no dignity): “Oh! Did she toot?”

There’s a pause, during which I dare to think that perhaps my bodily functions will not be registered and reported by my two year old.

Dex: “No. She burped.”

No such luck. At least I said, “Excuse me.”

Dexter carefully balanced his backpack onto his brother and announced, “Theo tummy time SHARK!”

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