Dex, Matt and I are hanging out in the living room, me on the sofa and the dudes playing on the floor. Matt says something teasing to me – I can’t remember what – and without thinking, I say, “Dexter, go kick Daddy in the stomach.”
Dex immediately moves toward Matt.
At this point, I should interject to say that we’re pretty serious about not teaching Dexter that any kind of violence, even play hitting or biting, is funny or fun, because we know how that stuff can escalate and we’d like him to be able to engage in society.
But in that moment, Dex is making a move and it’s crystal clear that Matt and I are both too curious about what would happen next to pull back.
And what happens next is Dexter gently kicks Matt in the stomach. Several times.
Matt: “He kicked me! I can’t believe he kicked me!”
Me: “I kind of can’t believe it, either.”
Matt: “You are a bad mommy!”
Me: “No. I’m a good mommy – my son did exactly what I asked! I’m a bad WIFE.”