Dexter Ian is ten months old today. Somehow, he sensed that I wasn’t sure what to write about because he hit THREE milestones today. 1. Dexter achieved Level 2 peek-a-boo (that’s where he hides behind a blanket himself, rather than having me fling the blanket onto his face for him to pull down) 2. He has been laboriously pulling himself to standing for about a week but today, Dex whipped himself upright like it was nothing and 3. He climbed all three steps in our house, oh crap, the world is Dexter’s open-electrical-socket-and-sharp-object-and-poisonous-liquid-filled-oyster. It’s amazing he had time for all of this because he also took a nap on my chest for 2+ hours but as my Dad says, Dexter is BUSY.
This is a hard time for me. Bad stuff has happened, some not my fault and some absolutely my fault. I’m frequently overwhelmed and frustrated and I’m struggling to see the path to make it better. And then I look at Matt and Dexter and feel all this love and you think I’m going to say it makes it all disappear but it doesn’t. It makes it worse, because I worry I’m failing them. But my guys, and how I feel about them, also keep me focused. Dexter smiles at me and suddenly, I know the path will form. And once it does? I got this. Because they are so, so worth it.